today i got called into the psychologist-excuse me-SOCIAL WORKER's office.

someone thinks i'm being a bad little girl because i look dperessed. or something.

well, actually this is the second time i've been called to the west office. the first time was when someone told the lady at the front desk that i was cutting in the bathroom.

she made me show her my arms.
and saw my old scars.
from the time when i used to cut.
before i realized how stupid it was.

so now every two weeks i go to the Social Worker's office and talk to the lady.

the social worker's face is pinched and made up too much. maybe she was pretty when she was younger...

the other lady's feet are half the size of mine.
her height is half the size of mine.
her weight is 2 and a half times mine.

oh, but Little Miss Angst is being too cruel.
she's merely looking out for me.

so Little Miss Angst lies her ass off to make her happy.






the cousins come tomorrow.
the blonde one with the attitude I'll call Rex. Short for Anorexic, you see.
And the older one with the better taste in music I'll call Bouche. (I could call her Kuchi, but that'd be disgusting.)
Her mouth fucks those words as she says them.
She tastes every single one.

i wish i could talk like my dear cousin Bouche.





i also wish i could fire a nail gun into my gym teacher's skull, but that's not going to happen.









a girl pronounced "vagina" "VA-guh-ee-nah" today.
we all laughed at her because she's ugly.

a girl pronounced "penis" "PEEN-ice" in the same period.
we all laughed with her because we want to be like her.
we all want to be beautiful and self-confident and popular.
but they don't know that she cries and presses scissors into her thighs during her free period.